SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

Thanks to the Village Voice and Ward Sutton

ODE TO THE AMERICAN HILLBILLY

Well folks, sorry for the delayed posting...
Below, you will find a lnk to a hilarious movie dedicated to the American Hillbilly. Simple still-frame editing cut to "Dueling Banjos" by Flatt & Scruggs, will have you wanting to go through the cut frame by frame so as not miss one single image.
Enjoy.

ODE TO THE AMERICAN HILLBILLY MOVIE

FIGHTING THEM THERE INSTEAD OF HERE

I try to keep politics off this blog as much as possible because there's just a shitload of political blogs out there and let's face it, who needs another progressive gloating at the downfall of the neo-con agenda? For the most part I'm successful at avoiding politics, however occasionally news is so un-ignorable that I have to jump on the train. (as in the katrina posts) I recently discovered this "game" on one of those many political blogs out there. This is a brilliant metaphor to how the US has approached the War on Terror, and it's just a hell of a lot of fun for those of us "destructive types". Basically, you get to fire a missile at the bad guys. Accuracy is questionable (just like real-life) and the results are a lot of collateral damage without really hitting the intended target or solving the original problem. (also like real-life) What makes this brilliant is, the more you play, the more "terrorists" you create (more like real-life!). In a nutshell the war on terror would be much more successful if it was fought with responsible foreign policy instead of bombs and genocide. Click the link below to play the "war on Terrorism" game a.k.a September 12th. (You'll need shockwave on your computer to play)

BOMB THE TERRORISTS GAME

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY RUSTY TROMBONE?

Yes folks, after years of clever hilarity, thanks to Johnny "Big-Dog" Dolan, I have finally found the quintessential guide to any and all terms for bizarre sex acts. Amaze your friends and girlfriends by knowing exactly what it takes to perform a "Roman War Helmet". Bask in the glory and beam with pride as you finally accomplish the "Abe Lincoln". So much fun, and so many home projects for the enterprising libertine. Click link below for the entire glossary of terms.

GLOSSARY OF TERMS

HUMAN ORIGINS

For those that know me personally, we've probably had a discussion or two about the origins of mankind. I've always considered an unorthodox approach to this question because i truly believe that all current religion isn't even close to the real truth. That truth being who we really are, and how we came to be the self-conscious beings we are. I have always wanted to read an honest clear translation of the Sumerian Bible (this pre-dating the hebrew bible by thousands of years) because many of the current biblical tales of great floods et al. originated in those Sumerian legends. The Sumerians were the closest advanced primitive culture to the real answers of how we emerged from the muck and I've always thought that primitive cultures somehow had a better grip on how it really was. Case in point, the Sumerians had star charts that included Neptune AND Pluto as well as the various moons of other major planets. They even named Neptune "The Water Planet" and Pluto the "Ice Planet". These facts predated modern mans discovery by thousands of years! Anyway, long story longer, Graham Hancock has been a great visionary and learned scholar on archaeology and human origins. He has a new book out in which he explores the hallucinogenic world of the primitive Amazonian jungle through experiencing a trip on ayahuasca. (an extremely hallucinogenic indiginous plant of the amazon prepared as you see in the pic above) His current studies concur with several other theories that "the missing link" or the reason the human brain jump-started its development and artistic, societal and mechanical skills developed so fast was due to the discovery and ingestion of hallucinogenic flora. (Other related authors- Terence McKenna, Zecharia Sitchin, Robert Bauvall)

Check the article below

GRAHAM HANCOCK ARTICLE

THE 'TALENT' SHOW

Through the years I've noticed something universal about modern Americans and their struggle to find good entertainment. (something as rare as the dodo nowadays) Most people can't resist watching cringe moments happen to their fellow humans. I am no exception. Here is a bit of fantastic video of a Mt Laurel NJ Junior High School "talent" show. The link below will take you to the winner of "The Most Beat-Up Kid of the Class of 2004". Dig a little deeper in the site, and perouse the brilliant videos of talent shows' past. Enjoy repeated torurous renditions of 'the Star Spangled Banner' mutilated by sub-adequate guitar playing. (theres one every year) Relish the pre-pubescent butchering of Beatles' classics. (seemingly a big hit with the Jr high School ladies) Theres something for everyone at this site. Now, I know that some of you are saying that this could be construed as 'mean-spirited,' however, as a father of two budding talents myself, this is meant in the lightest of humor. A warm thanks to the visionaries that thought it would be a good idea to post these videos for all the world to enjoy.

TALENT SHOW

PURE ROCK BAND PHOTO HILARITY

I know this site has been up for a while, but the writing for the captions of these photos gets better with every click. Just try and stop looking...just one more...ok, one more... Enjoy the madcap laughter sure to ensue. Thanks to Jack Grace for sharing this comedy gem, and of course-thanks to Rockandrollconfidential.com for the brilliant writing.


HALL OF DOUCHEBAGS - BAND PHOTOS

SHINING

it all comes down to editorial. Check out this fantastic re-edited trailer for "Shining".
Using all the footage from Kubrick's masterpiece, but edited as if it were a romantic comedy.

SHINING TRAILER

...AND YOU WORRIED ABOUT SQUIRRELS

Check out this bear compliments of Kyler.
Witness the latest way to forage the suburbs for food -
and people worry about squirrels on the birdfeeders.
I believe this was shot right here in Croton-On-Hudson, NY
And bears the question (sorry for the pun)
What is that rope made of???

SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

I wonder if i can get these printed?

1 MORE SHOT

Just another photo of the 4 of us.
Back to business next post.

ANOTHER BABY PHOTO

Gonna use this excuse to post another shot of mom and donovan. His first night home & he slept AWESOME. Seems to be quite the mellow little guy - I wonder how long it will stay that way....

VANITY POST: Our Son Donovan is Here

Yeah, well I had to use this as a vehicle to share the great news. Our son Donovan Jack was born on Friday Sept 16th @ 5:30AM. Him and mom are both doing great. He's the mellowest little guy - which will make a great contrast to the rest of his highly energetic family. Not only that, Sadie now has a little playmate to help take care of. Despite all the nasty shit going on in this world, it sure is nice to see things like this work out so well. to quote Tiny Tim "God bless us - everyone"
...and no NOT THAT tiny tim-tiptoe through the tulips....

BLACK DIAMOND

Hey, how 'bout a lil' break from all the blatantly visible government-shitting-its-pants talk and have a moment of levity? Well this should do it for you. Meet Black Diamond - "An 'Unreal' Neil Diamond experience." Check the link below for free mp3's, fantastic photos, and a great explanation of how he came discover and ultimately become the great talent that he is.


BLACK DIAMOND WEBSITE

THIS AIN'T FOOTBALL

Now, for those few acquaintances of mine that still stand behind The Cowboy - even now - I offer this juicy lil tidbit.
Courtesy of the Gaelic Starover - from Bushflash.com comes a simply written comment on Americas current political state.
Quite apropos - especially at this time...

"Now- you republicans, out there, who are still clinging to Bush, out of sheer determination:

If you wanna be a republican, fine. You wanna vote republican, because you're a conservative, and you have no other choice? Fine-

But you have to stop viewing politics, and the fate of our nation, as if it were pro football. Yeah- I know- you want to cheer for your team, defend it when it's down, and rally around the "star player"- it's fun, I know...

Let me break this gently... Your star lineman has just tested positive for steroids, while sniffing coke with a prostitute in the back of a '78 chevette. The Quarterback was found vacationing in an shack in the Wyoming foothills, watching "Scarface" over and over, in a room littered with dead boy scouts. The rest of your team was found in a dirty basement in Singapore, chewing gum, and betting on cockfights while trading in teenage Vietnamese male whores.

Keep your ideology- keep your party- it's all good... However- I have to ask all republicans, here, and now:

Rats have the brains to leave a sinking ship- why can't you muster the same mental fortitude?

Stand with the rest of America, and demand accountability from the people whom you rallied around, for so long- they owe you, at the very least, that much..."

Hallelujah

GILLIGAN DIES

Little Buddy! Poor guy, reluctantly went along with the Gilligan thing years and years after the show had all but disappeared. On Dobie Gillis - as Maynard G Krebs he sported the beard that launched a thousand copies. Our little buddy is no longer with us. Apparently he had complications from quadruple bypass surgery. Looks like he finally got off this crazy island after all.

R.I.P Bob - Tell the Skipper we miss him too!

POLITICAL ALERT! " i don't think anyone could have anticipated the levees breaching"

Yeah, no one except his own commission researching the 3 biggest potential disasters in the US. Oh yeah, and this little article snip from Natl. Geo. (FROM 2004 NO LESS)

"...It was a broiling August afternoon in New Orleans, Louisiana, the Big Easy, the City That Care Forgot. Those who ventured outside moved as if they were swimming in tupelo honey. Those inside paid silent homage to the man who invented air-conditioning as they watched TV "storm teams" warn of a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. Nothing surprising there: Hurricanes in August are as much a part of life in this town as hangovers on Ash Wednesday.

But the next day the storm gathered steam and drew a bead on the city. As the whirling maelstrom approached the coast, more than a million people evacuated to higher ground. Some 200,000 remained, however the car-less, the homeless, the aged and infirm, and those die-hard New Orleanians who look for any excuse to throw a party.

The storm hit Breton Sound with the fury of a nuclear warhead, pushing a deadly storm surge into Lake Pontchartrain. The water crept to the top of the massive berm that holds back the lake and then spilled over. Nearly 80 percent of New Orleans lies below sea level more than eight feet below in places so the water poured in. A liquid brown wall washed over the brick ranch homes of Gentilly, over the clapboard houses of the Ninth Ward, over the white-columned porches of the Garden District, until it raced through the bars and strip joints on Bourbon Street like the pale rider of the Apocalypse. As it reached 25 feet (eight meters) over parts of the city, people climbed onto roofs to escape it.

Thousands drowned in the murky brew that was soon contaminated by sewage and industrial waste. Thousands more who survived the flood later perished from dehydration and disease as they waited to be rescued. It took two months to pump the city dry, and by then the Big Easy was buried under a blanket of putrid sediment, a million people were homeless, and 50,000 were dead. It was the worst natural disaster in the history of the United States.

When did this calamity happen? It hasn't yet. But the doomsday scenario is not far-fetched. The Federal Emergency Management Agency lists a hurricane strike on New Orleans as one of the most dire threats to the nation, up there with a large earthquake in California or a terrorist attack on New York City. Even the Red Cross no longer opens hurricane shelters in the city, claiming the risk to its workers is too great."

LINK TO ENTIRE ARTICLE

I sure hope this country wakes up and realizes our supposedly teflon govenment needs a serious douching

THE NAKED COWGIRL

OK New Yorkers, if you've ventured anywhere near that disnefied cess-pool called Times Square, you've probably seen the NAKED COWBOY Well lo and behold, just 2 weeks after our offices have moved from their times square home, we FINALLY have the yin to his yang THE NAKED COWGIRL. Huzzah for women's rights!I wonder if she's the naked cowboys wife?
If not, I wonder if he feels threatened in any way?
Since I'm no longer in that neighborhood, I guess I wont get the chance to ask him.

THE FARTING PREACHER

OK, for those of you who have sat late night at my place and watched the video of the farting preacher - this may offer some some closure for you. For others, you can see these hysterical videos by clicking the link below.(sorry WMV) Robert Tilton is a preacher who's been on TV for years. Several years ago someone in the post-production business saw this guy on late-night TV and noticed that his bizarre body language seemed to welcome a little post-added audio. The tape was dubbed countless times, and has now finally become part of the web.

FARTING PREACHER VIDS

TASTES JUST LIKE CHICKEN

a hearty thanks to Kyler for passing along this stunning shot of nature in the raw. I know snakes can dislocate their jaws to accomodate larger portions but a whole kangaroo just about takes the cake. Speaking of raw nature, also check the link below for the trailer of an upcoming movie called GRIZZLY MAN

GRIZZLY MAN TRAILER